THE LIGHT THAT SHINES FOR SOME

(Words and music: (c) Robin Hill except where stated)

"So quietly she walks away And leaves the show behind" (Mandy Flower)

"The Light That Shines" was my first completed collection. Although some have been revamped since, the songs all originate from the 1970s, many of them starting life as as poems. I'm highly conscious that the collection deals with depression, mental illness, and other dark subjects, such as suicide. I don't think I had an unhappy adolescence, as such. I just think they were suitably dramatic matters for an impressionable young mind to explore.

"Sometimes A Little Girl" was the first complete song I ever wrote, followed closely by "Coming Of The Gasman". I can still recall the thrill of realising that the guitar chord patterns I was experimenting with could be structured into verses and added to the words of existing poems to complete what seemed to be a rather magical process!

The title song is 9 minutes long - one of my longest. I would have shortened it, but the eccentric rhyming scheme of the original poem made that very hard!

PAGE HISTORY:

Page added October 2002 - Notes added March 2019 - Scores and Tabs added May 2019 - 4 audio samples added March 2024

More audio samples will follow soon.

All words (and music) are copyrighted. Any adaptation or duplication without consent is a breach of copyright.

(Back to the main page)

END OF AN ERA

(Words and music: Robin Hill)

So now,
As I make to leave the scene,
I climb in bed alone,
Lost in thoughts of you;

Of how
This evening might have been
If only you had shown
To help me see it through;

Of why
My loneliness began
Just after that last kiss
To haunt me everywhere;

Or I,
A frail but happy man,
Should crumble into this
The moment you`re not there:

Goodbye,
I will miss you if I can,
But I`m sure to be remiss,
And try hard not to care.

(Contents)

THE CRIER

(Words: Mandy Flower - posted by kind permission)

(Music: Robin Hill)

Holding court amongst the crowd,
The crier takes a bow,
The act we watched can`t be denied
For attention pity and how:
She held us all in trance like state
Until she stopped the show,
A dozen hankies raining down,
She wipes away the flow.

And whilst this spectacle goes on
The crowd don`t see as well
The mask of pain which lines the face
Of the dry eyed girl whose shell
Has wrapped itself around her life,
A hard and bitter coat
She needs to cry but none will come,
So long has her grief been stowed
Away in a dark and secret place
Where no-one dares to go,
A place where only she can hide,
Where only she could know.

So quietly she walks away
And leaves the show behind:
If only she could hold that court,
But people are so blind:
They only see the outward pain,
With no wish to delve deeper,
So time and time again they console
The self-indulgent weeper.

(Thank you to my good friend Mandy for permitting me to post these lyrics)

(Contents)

SOMETIMES A LITTLE GIRL

(Words and music: Robin Hill)

Sometimes a gilt-edged woman cut across the little girl,
The edges hanging just above your head,
So when you climbed to peek beyond the boundaries of your world
You lost your grip and came down with your fingers crimson red,

===

And though I lay beside you when the blades were sharp and bright,
You never even woke me when they came down in the night.

===

Sometimes vicious circles span in orbits round your world,
Signals from another time and place,
To tear you from the flight paths of a happy little girl,
Towards the frantic spirals of a boundless outer space,

===

And though when I tried to guide you back I kept the air waves free,
You still made no contact as you crashed into the sea.

===

And now that I know that my ghost has departed I stand in a void on my own,
In truce with my senses, not so much lonely,
but rather so badly alone:

===

For knowing that mortals must always be wary when their guardian angels have gone,
I`ll stare at your smile, but I'llquietly accept that it won`t be the same from now on.

(Contents)

THE STORM BEFORE THE CALM

(Words and music: Robin Hill)

How
Do you crumble when we kiss,
Bringing worthless life to this
In an envelope of lies,

For now,
In the life before your death,
There is acid on your breath
And a satire in your eyes

===

Sounding the alarm
In the storm before the calm.

===

Why
Do the circles blaze at night
With a brilliant purple light
That will call on you alone,

When I,
Who could never take your life,
Would supply you with the knife
If you want to take your own;

===

Things are never as they seem
On the bridge without a stream.

===

See,
You are surely doomed to drown
As the whirlpools pull you down
With your feet tied to the rope,

But we,
Who have bonded by our blood,
Have to stand up to the flood
In the name of lasting hope;

===

Knowing you were born
When the sun went down at dawn.

(Contents)

COMING OF THE GASMAN

(Words and music: Robin Hill)

A brand new oven on the way,
You sit at home and quietly wait,
The gasman said he`d come today,
He`s late:
There`s little more for you to do
But read the brochures yet again,
You don`t mind the wait, it keeps you sane:
You know the worst of all the things that you can do
Would be the last.....

The evening threatens to begin
Outside across a gloomy town,
The friends who said they might drop in
Have let you down:
There`s little else for you to do
But sit and have your own quiet drink,
You won`t miss the company, at least you`ve time to think
Of how the worst thing that could happen to you now
Would be the last.....

You watch the television play,
But lose it halfway, bored as hell,
Your mother never rang today,
But perhaps that`s just as well:
There`s really nothing else to do
But grab a pen and start to write:
You don`t mind, but wonder why, tonight,
You feel the worst of all the many things you`ve known
Might be the last.....

The ending of another day
Has left you tired and pale,
The doctor said he`d come today,
He failed:
There`s little more that you can do
But settle now in hope of rest,
You don`t mind the dark, it`s for the best,
Because, tonight, the best of all the ways to let things go
Will be the last.....

(Contents)

THE LAST ONE

(Words and music: Robin Hill)

This will be the last one,
There is really nothing left to fight;
In the diary of a madman
There is just one story left to write:
Y`know I never shirked an answer,
Even when the questions baffled me;
Yet the words which slew the daydreams
Took a terrible infinity,
A peculiar dissymmetry
Which was bound to crush and weaken me
In the end.....

There are ten billion tiny pieces,
Each one surely has to fit somewhere;
Yet you never solved the puzzle,
Never read the clear instructions there:
So long, then, would-be angel,
I never found the peace you most enjoyed,
And it's so hard to play the hero
When lovers call from deep within the void
About the things you know you can`t avoid
In the end.....

In the diary of a madman,
There is really nothing left to write.....

(Contents)

A TERRIBLE BLUNDER

(Words and music: Robin Hill)

Sometimes I sit with my head in my hands,
And think through a terrible blunder:
How what or why I just can`t understand,
But I match a short poem to the way it was planned,
Stare at the bottles and wonder.....
Wonder.....
Wonder.....

(Contents)

ME AND THE DEAD

(Words and music: Robin Hill)

Perhaps like a fool I expected too much,
But I think on what you might have said;
And the shapes of such words have no meaning to me,
We`re just lonely, me and the dead.

And I don`t really care if you say them or not,
Just as long as you mean what you do;
For it`s not really fair to withhold all you`ve got
When I`ve set all my last hopes in you.

There are meanings to things that I`ll just never see
As I think on what you might have said,
But the shapes of such words make no difference to me,
We`re just lonely, me and the dead.

And I couldn`t care less if you love me or not,
For it`s just not important right now;
I just need you to share what little you`ve got,
To help me get through this, somehow.

(Contents)

ANOTHER VISION

(Words and music: Robin Hill)

Another useless vision loses colour in the rain,
It surely wasn`t real:
I was beaten by the strain,
I have never learned to trust the things I feel.

Another worthless poem drifts away into the sky,
Lost upon the air:
What will become of you and I?
I have never learned to live with no-one there.

===

If I could look around and find you gone,
I`m sure I`d think that justice had been done:
The days that made the difference were far too long-
Ah but longer still the better days to come.

===

Another futile hero clenches fists to ease the pain
Stained upon his brow:

But all his efforts are in vain,
I have never needed help like I do now,
I have never needed help like I do now,
I have never needed help like I do now,
I have never needed help like I do now.

(Contents)

THE ROBIN AND THE ROSE

(Words and music: Robin Hill)

By far the utmost tragic thing
In my experience, I suppose,
A robin with a broken wing
Entangled with a graceful rose:

As it tried to struggle free
The thorns cut deep into its side,
But even more a tragedy,
That bird, though bleeding, had not died.

(Contents)

THE LIGHT THAT SHINES FOR SOME

(Words and music: Robin Hill)

So futile is the hour when day is done,
Discordant are the evening`s aimless tones,
Pointless is life beneath such starless skies;
And it`s so hard
To be a hero at the fall of night:
I`ve watched you cry in silence, heard your mind
Reverberate in turmoil, seen your eyes
Grow blacker by the day, and felt your grief
Block your throat and slowly choke it dry.

So total is the fury of the rain,
So deep the rivers flooding over you,
So wild the rapid whirlpools of your mind;
And it`s not easy
For champions to rise and take the fight
When now they have no faith to hide behind:
No luring gods, seducing them with lies,
No lucky charm, black cat, or clover leaf,
Or stars to learn a happier future by.

So brilliant is the light that shines for some,
So radiant the strength within their bones,
So beautiful the patterns in their eyes:
I know how hard
It is to stumble on without that light,
The love, the need, the point of life all gone;
Yet you must fight on, you must try somehow
To find that former strength and bring it home
Towards this bitter world where you belong.

So near now is the peace you hope to gain,
So warm and calm the shelter you pursue,
So distant now the pain you leave behind:
I only guess
At how you hail that ease within your sight,
How bright those beacons beckoning you on:
But this I know- I cannot help you now,
The first steps must be yours and yours alone:
I too am lost in turmoil now, for I
Am locked in bitter conflict, wondering why
The weakest hours, for some, are always long,
And why the only strong ones are the strong.

(Contents)

THANKS

(Words and music: Robin Hill)

Thanks a million, Carrie, perhaps you`ll never know
How much you really helped me overcome that blow
And how much blow I really overcame
Never did you understand the grief and pain,
Knowing laughter followed tears, then turned to tears again,
Still you did your best to keep me laughing all the same.

Couples linked in bondage never were my style,
As love to me`s a warm heart and a friendly smile,
Reflecting all that you've been to the end:
Remember, it is up to you, but as you choose,
I promise that in either case you cannot lose,
Except that simple gap between a lover and a friend.

(Contents)

TEARS AND LAUGHTER

(Words and music: Robin Hill)

The day the phantoms cooed my name
In bids to call me to their side,
They tried to tempt me on with shame,
To leave me naked, stripped of pride:
Seducing me is no mean feat,
Yet through their charms they nearly won,
And I will love them in defeat,
They`ve style, but simply couldn`t get undone
The tears and laughter
That kept my dignity intact
And gave me warmth the phantoms lacked.

With just no point in hanging on-
My time refused to keep them fed-
The crazy vultures have all gone
To circle someone else instead:
Their patience always promised meat,
It always seemed their time would come,
And I`ll respect them in defeat,
They`re smart, but simply couldn`t overcome
The tears and laughter
That always gave me one more breath
And left them cheated of my death.

The night mad voices talked to me
I thought they had a point or two,
They argued hard to make me see
That rights and wrongs are false and true:
But though I grappled for a while,
I proved their madness was a lie,
For though they put their case with style
They couldn`t find one proof that could deny
The tears and laughter,
Those axioms which kept me sane
And drove mad voices from my brain.

(Contents)

YOU HAVE BEEN

(Words and music: Robin Hill)

You have been a perfect friend
Who pointed out a journey`s end,
So comforting and patient, bright
And breezy;

You always led me with a smile
To make the journey so worthwhile,
And make the life I had to live
So easy;

And when the strain showed on my face
You stopped and were my resting place,
Took me in and offered me
Your shelter food and bed;

So that when I woke the night had gone,
And though the journey called me on,
I always knew you`d strive to be
The road that lay ahead;

And yet I still feared in the end
The things that lurked round every bend
A steady fear that quietly grew
Inside me

That with the road still long and steep,
With need of company to keep,
I`d turn one day and not find you
Beside me;

For though you gave me strength and health,
You failed to take the same yourself;
And though my sturdier arms could offer
Strength to pull you through,

Your journey ended far from home,
Leaving me once more alone:
You`d always been my will to live,
I wish I`d been yours too.

(Contents)

(Back to the main page)